My Happiness Project - 1st week summary: Do I not have the right to be happy?

It has been a week since I started My Happiness Project. I still remember the joy and sense of achievement I got from meeting all the targets I set for this month (read my previous blog post: April Resolutions and  Day One of my happiness project)

Obstacles

Doing exercise is something that really change my life. I am those girl who only stand there and chat with friend during PE lessons since high school. I am so reluctant to move or do any workout. So planning to do exercise 3 days a week and 20 mins each time is a great challenge for me. I planned to exercise on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I did it successfully on Tuesday following the same youtube video. Love this video! You should check it out if you are also a beginner!

On Thursday evening, it was already dinner time when I arrived home from work (8:00 p.m.). I was too full to do exercise after dinner. (9:00 p.m.) After a shower and some fruits, it's time to bed (11:00 p.m.) I did not want to exercise right before I went to bed because I was very sure that exercising will keep me awake for the whole night. 

I planned to make it up on Friday night but I did not do it because I had a doctor appointment at 6:00 p.m. after that I went for dinner with my boyfriend. We walked a little bit after dinner and finally arrived home at 10:00 p.m. You know what happened next... shower...fruit...bed time. No exercise time. 

'It's ok!I will make it up on Saturday and Sunday,' I told myself confidently. Well, on Saturday morning I went hiking with my boyfriend. I chose a easy trail and walked slowly. The air was so fresh and weather was so sunny. It was such a beautiful day. So I count it as successful on Saturday. 

Beautiful waterfall

Falling apart

However, on Sunday, my boyfriend and I had a really terrible argument about his pressure and how my emotions always upset him and then naturally we argued about everything in our relationship. I was so upset when I heard that he did not think that I was happier at all. At that moment, everything seems to fall apart again. 

I know that I should not focus on sadness and problems when I was upset but I was not able to control my emotion at that moment. All the problems were raised and it seems to me that no matter how hard I work and try, I will never be able to solve all these problems. My family, my work, my loving relationship and my illnesses, everything falls apart. I was not able to stop crying for the longest time ever. Sitting in darkness only worsened the problem and deepened the sadness. 

The next day, I did not go to work because my eyes looked terrifying. They were too swollen. I was so disappointed to myself because I only went back to work for one week and I was already taking another sick leave. More pressure because I will only have more work to do the next day, more sadness more depressed. 

This is how much tissue I found in the morning

Do I not have the right to BE HAPPY?

I kept questioning myself, why can other people be happy everyday? They go to work energetically, they spend time on their makeup and clothing. Why do I need to go to work like a zombie, with swollen eyes all the time and wearing whatever I can grab from my wardrobe everyday? When colleagues approaches, I can only lower my head and pretend that I am not interested in joining their conversation because I am usually upset or too tired. Do I not have the right to look pretty and energetic, too? Do I not have the right to BE HAPPY everyday like everyone else??????

Try again?

I tried to calm down that night and talked about our problems in the relationship calmly. The problems were not well discussed. However, I appreciate that my boyfriend was willing to put down his work for a while and came home a little bit earlier on that day for me. He encouraged me to follow my happiness project.

I think he has no idea how much courage I need to start my Happiness Project and how much more courage I need to start the project all over again....

Do you think I can really become a happy person? I am not even sure if I have the courage and perseverance to follow this year long project. But in order to rescue our love relationship, improve my health and give me the strength to solve all the problems in life,  it is the only way I know. 

Luxurious, natural, effective mask - Apivita masks

I prefer cream wash away Masks than sheet masks

I have so many sheet masks at home! However, I seldom have any motivation to use them because:

1. I don't want to look scary in front of my boyfriend

2. I don't want to mess up my hair after shower. Products on sheet masks tend to stick on my hair

*** Most importantly, a lot of people think that sheet masks are more effective because they make instant changes to your skin. After using a sheet mark, you are not required to wash your face. However, I personally found that some of the effects that sheet masks made may disappear right after you wash your face. 

The packaging is lovely.
I can easily put the boxes on my table
 and they make good storages for the masks.

Apivita masks - it feels so good!

So last month, I went shopping and found this very luxurious cream masks from Apivita. There aren't a lot of reviews about these masks on youtube. I only heard Fleurdeforce mentioned them in her videos before. So I picked up the Express Beauty with Orange. It claimed to whiten, moisturise and provide antioxidant protection to your skin. 

The mask is in a creamy consistency. It is smooth and watery and not greasy at all. There are little particles inside the cream which burst and release the watery cream inside them when you massage the cream onto your face. 

According to the instructions, you should keep the mask on your face for around 15minutes before you wash it off. However, after about 10 minutes, I noticed that the cream on my face starts to disappear as it is adsorbed by my skin. Also, what makes the process luxurious is the fact that my skin can literally FEEL that it is adsorbing the cream on my face, no kidding! It feels soooo good. It feels like being in a spa room and all of the water is squeezing into your every single pore. 

Effectiveness?

Express beauty with orange:

It works for me because my skin is obviously whitened every time I wash the mask off. Even more, my skin is smoother and it feels really good. Apart from that, I also noticed that my pores are very clean after using this mask for a few times. I don't know if the mask also helps clean my pores but it is what I noticed.

I think it is better than a lot of the sheet masks that I have tried before because even after washing off the product, I can still notice obvious improvement to my skin. I am so happy about the effect of this mask so I bought another box last week which is the Express Beauty with Grape. So far, it is as good as the orange one. I'm very happy about my skin now. 

It is a little more expensive than a lot of sheet masks. However, it definitely worths the money.