April Resolutions: kick-started !!!

Today was the 9th day since I didn't go to work. This first sentence already sounded very pathetic for a lot of people. However, I was very excited today because I was starting a whole new, big and happy project today!

Gretchen was right, taking up new challenges like starting a new project can boost a person's happiness level, because at this moment, I can proudly say that it is my most exciting day since my sick leave has started.

Worries

However, I have to admit that, deep down in my heart, I am already worrying about the results of the project, the effectiveness, the amount of effort I will have to spend and my ability to continue the project after I start working again.

Enjoy the process

But Gretchen always reminded us in the book that we should not worry too much about the results but learn to enjoy the process. Therefore, again, I try to enjoy my process of making April Resolutions by downloading cute fonts from dafont.com and adding a little bluebird image to match the colour of the chart.

Have a clear measurement and be realistic

The process was surprisingly enjoyable. Before I put down every resolution, I analyse my ability of fulfilling these resolutions and specific assessments that I will use to measure the achievement of my goals every day. So I added this remark section on the right hand side to provide little specific details of my every resolutions.

For example, by my first resolution - exercising 3 days a week. Specifically, I mean to do exercise for 20 minutes every day and 3 days every week. So at the end of the week, I need have 3 ticks in that column.

I also included 'try weight lifting'. I used the word 'try' because I clearly know that I will not be able to do weight lifting 3 times a week because I don't have the equipment I need at home and I will not have the time to travel to gym during work days. Therefore, I may try to do it at weekends when I have time to travel to the gym.

By being realistic, resolutions become easier to be achieved and achieving each resolutions every day can surely bring me some great sense of achievements.

My Happiness Project - Getting Started

Today was the 8th day that I didn't go to work because of my illness. Actually, staying at home and doing nothing does not help improve my health at all. However, as I have already applied for a 2 week sick leave, I want to spend it wisely and meaningfully instead of sitting at home and worrying about my illness and work.

I spent the first 5 days of my leave reading the book, The Happiness Project, making notes in the book and highlighting quotes and sentences that I found meaningful for me.

To start such a annual project which is expected to change my entire year if not the rest of my life is very challenging. It includes so much work from:
1. trying to know more about myself
2. identifying the purpose of my project
3. analysing areas that I want to improve
4. planning my resolutions and putting them into different months of the year
5. following the schedule and doing the resolutions
6. filling in checklist to check my progress (not to mention making checklists!)

After all, I figured that the easiest way to start such a huge project is simply to START!!!
So I started by making a very simple year plan with all the resolutions of each month. I found this beautiful artwork from google images (Bluebirds represent Happiness) and I used it to decorate my year plan. At this stage, I did not want to include any details because I knew that I can add little details according to my progress and how I feel every now and then. Also, it is always instrumental to revise and analyse your plan from time to time.

After that, I printed this beautiful poster out, framed and put it on my wall immediately. At that moment, I had the feeling that my project was really 'starting' and my life is really going to be changed if I am willing to stick to my plan like Gretchen did.

Then, I dedicated my whole afternoon in front of the computer reflecting my life, my problems, my weaknesses and areas I want to improve. So I came up with my aim of the project and my April and May resolutions after 2 hours of in depth thinking.

My aim may sound terribly stupid to some of you but after being a person who only concentrated on the negative sides of everything in life, who spent most of her 26 years worrying about different things and who has never ever wanted to be happy, writing down these two purposes has already marked a change in her attitude. 

A bad news in the evening - It's just an ordinary day when everything seemed to be changed

The bad news came like any bad news in a story book. It was just a normal Wednesday afternoon, I was waiting for my doctor to do an ultrasound test for me because my period did not come on time (again...very normal for me). Lying on the bed in the room of the clinic, I was planning which restaurant to visit after the test which would surely tell me, 'everything is fine, it's just your stress!'

In the middle of the test, the doctor turned the computer screen to me and asked me to look at the large black circle image which means nothing to me in the middle of the screen. 'Miss Jane, there is a big tumour in your womb,' said the doctor, in a tone that I may use to tell my bf that there is a new pimple on his face.

The doctor then explained to me that as my tumour is big, I may be expecting a surgery. Without providing further help or details, he asked me to go back for another checking 3 months later.

My immediate thoughts:
1. I am only 26, why would I have a tumour at this early stage of life?
2. Am I going to worry about the tumour every day in the 3 months?
3. Am I going to express my anger and depressing feeling in front of my beloved so that they feel upset for me too?
4. Am I going to stay emotional and depressed everyday just like every time I met a adversity before?


Instead of reading all the terrifying information on the Internet, I went to a book store, grabbed some books and read.

One of the books that I grabbed was called, The Happiness Project.

One sentence in the book happened to answer all my questions above for me:
"I did not want to look back, at the end of my life or after some great catastrophe, and think, "How happy I used to be then, if only I'd realised it."

I also bought a nice pretty
notebook (from Page One) to
keep a journal about my project.

Growing up, I know that I have the worst personalities ever:
1. I focus on the negative side of everything.
2. I am so insecure that I always prepare for the worst
    and never seem to have the courage to hope for the best.
3. When I am unhappy, I like to concentrate on the negative feelings and go deeper and deeper in the
    dark hole.
All in all, I have NEVER EVER wanted to be a HAPPY PERSON ever.

So, when I knew that my health is totally in risk, all I did was crying, feeling depressed and picking up fights with my boy friend whenever I can.

The idea of The Happiness Project really inspired me to CHANGE. Before the situation becomes worse (which was proven later that the tumour shrank a bit in the second test, yeah!!), before any big catastrophe happens in my life and before my bf stops loving me so much, I should learn to become A HAPPY PERSON WHO LIVE AT THE MOMENT NOT IN THE FEAR ABOUT STH THAT MAY NOT HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE!

This is me walking happily into Disneyland to cheer myself up :)
(A huge step for a person who prefers to sit at home and worry about everything!)